I woke up this morning with my heart thudding ferociously. I laid there for a minute and breathed myself into a calmer state. Maybe it was a bad dream, or maybe it was just my normal raceday excitement but turned up to 11 because of where we are and all that’s going on.
I still felt a little shaky when I got to the track. It was early, but not as early as I wanted it to be. I didn’t want to see anyone. No, I didn’t want anyone to see ME – that would be the more truthful statement. But I made my way to seat 13 in row 13 (hey, dad) and settled in for a minute.
I breathed again and took in my surroundings. It’s beautiful here in a uniquely powerful way. The grandstands are truly grand. Four lanes of a well-loved racetrack laid before me awaiting the intensity of the day, and the towering…. tower (I suck at writing) stood watch. It’s all so enormous and lovely and impactful and IMPORTANT. It makes me feel like what we’re doing is something of value. This place is a tangible display of how I actually feel about drag racing. I LOVE IT HERE.
I don’t know why my heart was beating so wickedly hard when I woke up, I don’t know why all the crazy stuff happens in my life, I don’t know why I am challenged by certain lessons again and again both inside and outside of my career. But the one thing I know for sure sitting in this peaceful, beautiful place as the sun shines brighter and brighter is that I’m right where I’m supposed to be, doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing. When I remember that, I feel calm. I feel exactly right.
I’m meant to move this pen across this page. It’s my one thing, and it is more trying than anything else in my life but more rewarding than anything money could ever buy.
This is a weird circus of adrenaline and pressure and emotions pressed up against the edge of sanity. Like, what are we even doing?! We’re living the dream, man. And it’s a dream that makes your heart beat wildly on Sunday morning, if you’re lucky.
So I’m gonna enjoy it. I’m gonna live it all the way. I hope you do, too.
See you out there.