I’ve heard a lot of people say, “You’re only as good as your last win.” I think, though, that you’re only as good as those you surround yourself with, who stands beside you and behind you, who gets to know the tiniest details of every high and low along the way. I think it matters tremendously who you choose as your person – and although for much of my life I’ve thought that fate has everything to do with it, I have come to believe it really and truly comes down to choice. I’m still a dreamer, and I will always believe in destiny and stardust and alchemy and the sweetest most unbridled kind of falling in love….. but what you do after the spark is what counts the most. We may not choose who we spark with or who comes into our line of vision at an opportune moment, but we for sure choose who is invited to stay, and we absolutely choose how we treat them.

Maybe I’m a bit judgy here, but I don’t think you’re likely to win anything of value, not in life or on the racetrack, by yourself. Racing comes off as such an individual thing; one vs. one, a boxing match in spirit, blows traded from the ring of the bell at the starting line to a TKO at the final stripe — but it’s so much more than that. While most of the eyes are fixed on the fight, I can never help but notice what’s happening at the starting line. I am entranced by the frizzling energy these cars leave in the rearview as they battle, the anxious anticipation, the hope followed by elation or dejection. I’m wrapped up in watching wives with hands over mouths waiting for the final decision to flash on the scoreboard, mothers with arms wrapped around themselves praying for the safety and success of their babies with lips in a tight line, fathers or husbands or dear friends standing pillar-still and then either lifting a victorious fist in the air or turning away from the result, shaking their head. It’s one person driving the car, but they’re all in it together.

I have come to understand that the people closest to you can be an integral part of your success, or they can derail (or worse, destroy) you. They can build you up through steady, quiet support or vocal and active encouragement, or they can tear you down through outward cruelty or silent ambivalence. I will say that didn’t know this in the first part of my life. I didn’t realize that my well-being was so closely tied to who I let close to me. I didn’t realize I had a choice in the matter. I’m so grateful I figured it out, because I am not the same person I was 20 years ago (in a good way).

Whew, guys. This took a turn, because what I meant to say this morning isn’t as dark as this came out. I really just wanted to say that I see you all on the starting line, supporting and cheering, being fully in the moment with your person – and it matters to me to see active validation that this exists. A good life is more than sparkly love. It’s having the right person (be it a friend or partner) or a group of people there for all of it. The wins, for sure, but especially the losses.

See you out there. xo