These photos are dreadfully disappointing compared to the memory to which they are attached. Let me explain.

The visuals of this show were extraordinary and are forever burned into me in vivid black and white stripes and spirals, flashes of non-color – crisp and jarring – even still in my mind’s eye. The Siouxie and the Banshees Peepshow tour in 1988 was a work of art, at least to 16-year-old me, and I remember so vividly the overwhelming sensation of “what-in-the-hell” that washed over me as the first thumps of The Last Beat of My Heart filled our beloved Universal Amphitheatre. Soon, in came that gorgeous symphonic melody, my god, and then finally, we were treated to a picture of Siouxsie Sioux’s dark red lips pressed against the silver microphone as lyrics somehow both murmured yet also crystal-clear and cutting fell upon us. “In the sharp gust of love, my memory stirred….”

I myself stirred as if finally awakened on that cool November Los Angeles night. By that time, the historic theatre had long been an indoor venue, but I felt chill bumps raising on my arms, the back of my skull tingling, the music growing louder, and louder, and louder, reaching inside of me and wrapping around my heart and squeezing. Oh! This is what it means to be alive.

Our souls were crushed through The Killing Jar, Christine, Peek-A-Boo, so many more. We roared, we sang our voices raw, we danced and swayed and felt all of it, and when the encore launched with Cities in Dust, I thought I would die of happiness. I was drunk on music and nothing else, so high on the way the notes spiked the chemicals in my brain, it felt like it was everything. I never, ever wanted it to end. You know that feeling, right?

The show closed on Dear Prudence, and it felt right because I absolutely felt changed. “Dear Prudence, greet the brand-new day (ay ay).”

After they’d walked off the stage, when the lights came up and the roar of the crowd died, my ears were still on fire, ringing in a way that felt like a tragic void after the music that had flowed so fiercely through them and into my blood. I’ve been to a lot of shows, and they all hit me in some way. But that one…. That one I just can’t ever shake. xo

p.s. This photo is from when my boyfriend Mike took me to Knott’s Scary Farm – I hated Knott’s Scary Farm and still am not real super fond of haunted houses. I would always choose a show over those dumb shenanigans; he saved his ass by taking me to see Siouxsie one week later.