From the Stands: Dallas

It rained. I think it might rain more.

That changes things.

It’s so far outside of what I can control, though, and so here I sit, searching for my patience and trying oh-so-hard to let today be what it will be. Like everyone else on this property, I want to work. You know what else? I really like a schedule. I adore a plan, and this weather totally mucks that up.

People who use planners and make lists are my people. I find magic in organization. I have so many thoughts running around in my brain all the time, and along with them comes a constant worry about what I’m going to forget. The chaos in my overactive mind is quieted when I can evict one thought at a time and banish it to paper until the time is right. For me, lists and plans are how I keep unnecessary stress under control.

But then it rains. And when it does, that magic dissipates as fast as hope in the flash of a redlight. When the structure is shaken, the overwhelm is like “Oh…. hey there, darlin’.” And yes, my subconscious has a Texas accent now.

Life is easy when it’s go-go-go, at least for me. It’s exhausting, yeah. But that quiet? That down time? That’s my challenge. A couple of times lately I’ve found myself referring to what it would be like to have a “normal” life, and honestly, what the hell is a normal life, anyway? This is my normal, and I like it. I like it a real lot.

Anyway, wow, very off-track. Here’s the point I was trying to get to: one of the special skills everyone out here in drag racing land is asked to master is what to do when the quiet comes. We don’t live quiet lives, and that stillness can be foreign and uncomfortable.

To be honest, we knew today was going to look like this – so yeah, I made a plan. I do, actually, have a list. It’s just not the original list, the one I really wanted to tackle on this particular day. But I’m going to work on adaptability; I’m going to go with the flow. Whatever this day brings will be exactly what it’s supposed to be. Right?

Sooooo…… see you out there. Rain or shine.

Categories: Musings

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